A 28-year-old mom of four said she regrets making the “dumb choice” to take the first abortion pill a year ago. Lynette said she knew in her heart she shouldn’t have entered the Planned Parenthood clinic in California, and as she left the building and climbed into her car, the regret mounted.
Lynette is the mom of children ages 12, 10, six, and two. At the time of her Planned Parenthood visit, her youngest was “a year and a couple months,” she said. Lynette talked with Pregnancy Help News by phone, sharing her story of shame that ultimately led to joy.
“I was scared what everyone was going to think of me,” she said.
Lynette said she was a teen mom when she gave birth to her first daughter. She had two more babies with the same man, and the relationship ended. Her youngest two children’s father is her current boyfriend.
Lynette said she was surprised to find herself pregnant for the fifth time last fall. She had been working delivering packages and was “very stressed.” Her family did not have a stable housing situation, she said, and the timing seemed terrible.
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In a moment of panic upon seeing the positive pregnancy test, Lynette and the father of her baby immediately asked one another, “What are we going to do?”
Lynette said the day she walked into the Planned Parenthood office she knew she should not be there. An ultrasound was performed, and Lynette asked the technician if she could see the screen. To her surprise, the technician turned the screen to face her. It was there she saw the tiny eight-week beating heart of her son.
“The baby was moving and already forming,” she said.
Her own heart began to beat faster as she was amazed how this tiny “blip” on the screen looked like a small baby.
Lynette recalled the technician telling her, “There’s no turning back when you take the pill.”
The first chemical abortion pill, mifepristone, removes progesterone from the pregnancy. The second pill, misoprostol, meant to be taken 24 hours later, causes uterine contractions.
“It really felt like peer pressure in there,” she said of her discussion with the technician.
After consuming the first abortion pill, Lynette later sat in her home questioning her choice, and then she began scrolling through her phone. She tried to force herself to vomit, but she was unable to do so.
“I kept thinking I had made such a dumb choice,” she said.
Lynette finally found the phone number for the Horizon Pregnancy Clinic in Huntingdon Beach. The woman on the other end of the phone offered her the opportunity to come into the clinic that day. Lynette made the nearly hour-long drive. Lynette had taken the mifepristone at 11 a.m. and made it to the clinic at 3 p.m. She received an ultrasound and was given progesterone to counter the mifepristone, which is the Abortion Pill Reversal protocol. The return of progesterone to the body helps keep the pregnancy intact.
Lynette said she was so grateful to the women at Horizon.
“They made me feel at peace,” she said.
“It was very emotional as well,” Lynette said. “I saw my baby with a heartbeat still beating strong. I felt so guilty. I had no words for the dumb decision. “
Lynette had not told her boyfriend she had gone to Horizon, and when she came home that evening, he had only known she went to Planned Parenthood. He kissed her goodnight and told her he really didn’t want her to have an abortion.
“I told him, ‘I’m glad you said that. Because I didn’t do it after all,’” she said.
Lynette said he was relieved and hugged her tightly.
A few days later Lynette started bleeding.
“I thought I was having a miscarriage,” she said.
Lynette immediately went to the hospital near her home. She shared with the medical staff that she had taken the first abortion pill and then went to Horizon and was given progesterone to save the baby.
“They looked at me like I was crazy,” she said, adding she thought they did not know progesterone could save the pregnancy after taking the abortion pill.
The heartbeat of her baby was detected despite the bleeding, she said. The hospital staff also told her she would be considered a high-risk pregnancy.
As her pregnancy continued, Lynette’s world began to get brighter.
She had previously prayed for a home for her family before she discovered her pregnancy. Her application for low-income housing was accepted and a home was procured for their family.
Lynette continued taking progesterone and visited the Horizon Pregnancy Clinic location nearest to her home until she was beyond the first trimester.
Lynette’s OB-GYN removed the “high risk” term from her pregnancy. She delivered her son this past June at 39 weeks, three days via C-section.
She and her boyfriend chose the name Jesse, which means “gift from God.”
Lynette said APR changed her life forever. She now has hopes of obtaining her GED and finding a career for herself.
She said it was hard becoming a mom at 17 and then a mom of five before the age of 30. The shameful looks and people judging her have hurt her over the years and made her feel like a terrible person.
However, she said, “At the end of the day, these are my kids. They are what matters.”
LifeNews Note: Tabitha Goodling has been writing for media outlets for more than 20 years in her home state of Pennsylvania. She has served as a client services director at her local pregnancy center since 2018. She and her husband are raising four teenage daughters, which include a set of triplets. This column originally appeared at Pregnancy Help News.
