Reliable statistics on adoption in the U.S. are hard to come by but this much is certain: There are more families looking to adopt infants than there are babies available for adoption. Abortion claims the lives of just under a million babies every year and some statistics show that about 2 million couples are hoping to adopt. Every one of those aborted babies very likely would have found homes had their mothers chosen life.
November is National Adoption Awareness Month so please keep those sobering numbers in mind. And please keep this in mind as well: The way we react to a woman who is facing an unplanned pregnancy can make all the difference in her life, certainly in her baby’s life, and for those on a waiting list praying to become parents.
The support and encouragement a young woman gets from family, friends, even pastors and teachers can go a long way toward helping her make that loving choice, according to adoptive mother Terri Marcroft.
On the other hand, if everywhere she turns she’s being nudged toward abortion, that can seem like the solution.
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In my work with the Silent No More Awareness Campaign, I have gotten to know people who, as well-meaning teenagers, turned to Planned Parenthood for help in figuring out the next step. But the nation’s number one abortion seller didn’t achieve that dubious distinction by helping young women choose adoption. According to research from the Charlotte Lozier Institute, Planned Parenthood aborts 200 babies for every one adoption referral.
What a young woman facing an unexpected pregnancy might not realize is that open adoption, which is the norm now, can put her firmly in the driver’s seat.
Ms. Marcroft, an adoptive mother who has written two books on adoption and founded the non-profit Unplanned Good, said birth mothers can choose the age, ethnicity, income and education level, faith, political leanings and virtually every aspect of a potentially adoptive family. She can even choose between a stay-at-home Mom and a career Mom. Her daughter’s birth mother wanted her baby to have lots of cousins; Terri and her husband were able to offer them in abundance.
“Our daughter was coming into a family with 16 cousins on the day she was born,” Ms. Marcroft said.
All kinds of arrangements are possible with adoption. Ms. Marcroft promised the birth mother she would send pictures of the baby every two months, and for five years, that’s what she did. Then the woman decided to join the military and wanted to get to know her daughter before she deployed so she planned a visit, where she saw for herself the love that surrounded her daughter every day.
A birth mother’s decision to choose life is both courageous and selfless and – unfortunately – rare. According to her research, Ms. Marcroft said only about 1 percent of the nearly three million US women facing an unplanned pregnancy each year choose adoption.
“We need to raise that number up,” she said. “I would never imply that it’s easy, because it’s not. For young women considering their options, it might appear like the hardest thing to do. It’s a rough road for a short time, but in the big picture, I do believe it can be the most beautiful, and healthiest, outcome.”
Those who have influence with a young woman facing this literal choice between life and death should proceed with empathy and encouragement.
“Tell her you know it might seem overwhelming but she doesn’t have to choose parenting,” Ms. Marcroft said. “She can choose parents.”
LifeNews Note: Janet Morana is the executive director of Priests for Life and the co-founder of the Silent No More Awareness Campaign.
