Millions of women around the world regret their abortions and thousands upon thousands of women have spoken out over the years about their regret. They talk about the mental anguish and spiritual regrets they feel concerning their abortion and their desire to go back and undo their decision.
But one phenomenon is common in many stories about abortion regret: the completely dispassionate way in which abortion facility staff treat what is obviously the destruction of human life and the killing of a tiny baby in an abortion.
Consider this post-abortion story from Rachel, a member of the Silent No More Awareness campaign. In her testimony she describes the stark callousness with which abortion clinic staff treat the unborn child whose life they just took.
I have had two abortions. The first one I was 16 weeks pregnant. My then Husband gave me the choice, him or the baby. I chose him. WRONG CHOICE!
I watched my baby move in my stomach the night before the saline injection, I was told the baby would feel nothing. I was treated as if I had no heart.
The Dr. pulled the baby out and I cried out, he asked me why was I crying?
Then the baby was given to the nurse to place in a clear bag, and I saw the baby. She just stood there like the baby was nothing. I felt empty and unbelief at what I had just done.
When my Husband came to get me I felt the most white hot hatred toward him. I never felt any more love for him and shortly after I divorced him. The second abortion I was newly married (I got pregnant on our Honeymoon.)
Then 12 weeks into my pregnancy my Husband told me I needed to get an abortion. He told me it would cause us to stay in an apartment and never have anything. He also thought that because I had attended my former Husband’s Mother’s funeral that I might have cheated on him and the baby might not be his. He said he believed me that the baby was his, but still wanted the abortion. I was in disbelief. I had told him how the first abortion hurt me, I was in disbelief that I would do it again!
During the abortion I hated myself and I just felt numb. We have not discussed the abortion and my Husband does not have any remorse about the decision we made. We have a son 31 and he has some serious problems and I feel that God is punishing me for my abortions through him. Also, I feel my Daughter would not have had an abortion if I had not had one. I do not remember how she found out. I have felt over the years that I am a heartless murderer that instead of giving up my babies for adoption I just killed them.
I have thought about what they were, what they would have been like. It has been 35 and 32 years now and it still hurts. I haven’t thought of naming them or giving them a memorial or honoring them except through the two programs I have tried to complete. Yesterday I reached out to Silent No More. I was crying and praying to God and he spoke the name Ruth to me, I believe that God was telling me I had a girl and He named her Ruth. The most beautiful thing that has happened to me that has anything to do with my abortions. I Thank God! Maybe this time there will be healing for me.
